To whoever is struggling, this is for you...
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah that Allah has given me a chance to live today, to be able to write and grant me the strength to finish this. All praises are due to Allah.
Sharing this story of mine is not meant to be showy or encouraging you to experience what I have been through. Wallahi, no. I pray that it will not happen to any of you. This is rather to (hopefully) benefit others on how we can overcome the days where we felt at the lowest point in life and a reminder for my future self.
In the past few months, I have been facing challenging moments that I could not forget. It was too unfavorable that I do not wish to experience it again but if it is to drive me closer to the Almighty, may Allah grant me strength, sabr' and solution(s) to overcome it. Aamiin ya Rabb.
My friends, especially A, was so worried that she would ask if I was okay and told me that I looked so drained in every classes. Initially, I was not really aware of it but I get concerned (funnily, -for her) when she asked me almost daily that I had to 'fake' convinced her that I was fine which was bad because sometimes, it is okay to express yourself to someone who you can rely on. But in my case, I am not really the type of person who can easily share my problems with anyone.
I remember that one day where I unconsciously spoke out loud "Stress ku eh!!! (I'm so stressed out!!!)" and my mom -unexpectedly- overheard me and scolded, "Eh jangan cakap cematu bah, beristighfar kau, banyak2 berdoa! (Don't say like that, seek forgiveness from Allah and do lots of prayers!)". However, I took her statement too lightly, not even bothered to grasp her advice profoundly. I took a cold shower and cried so hard than I used to, disguising my tears from the water dripping on the shower (sounded too dramatic but that was what happened and probably, most of us may relate haha).
During that particular moment, I reflected upon myself.
"Why am I like this? I don't want to be in this state anymore".
It was too painful.
I was bottling up my problems all to myself, without telling a single soul. I could not even make myself to explain as I did not even know where to start. 'Gifts' were sent down to me day by day like a machine gun. Whenever I was alone, I would automatically cry as I failed to express to anyone. It was such a terrifying moment where I wish to not reminisce.
I realised that I have been so distant with my Creator, my Mom, my little siblings- easily got upset or annoyed. When I have come to this realization, the following night, my mom asked whether I can accompany her to do a quick errand. I was fully aware that I had to do revisions since my exams were around the corner. Eventually, I agreed to accompany her because I thought, when will I have this chance again to spend time with her. (Although I brought my laptop and revise some in the car when she was too focused driving to talk haha). It was a great decision. The result was- I was a lot more happier!
To conclude, when we keep a good relationship with Allah, in His wills, He will take care of the rest. As I was being distant with my Creator, I thought my life would still continue like how it has always been. But I was wrong, he sent down these 'gifts' solely because He just wants us to be back, to be closer to Him again. After those days, I have developed the need to recite the Quran at least, after the 5 obligatory prayers. Truly, it extinguished my anxiety whenever I felt a sudden distress or anxiousness.
Alhamdulillah, indeed Allah is the As-Sami'. The All-Hearing. He listens. We often forget that,
To whoever is struggling, you are not alone.
Talk to him. Even with your own language, He understands. He understands even way before you speak to Him.
My friend A, once told me,
Have faith,
م
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah that Allah has given me a chance to live today, to be able to write and grant me the strength to finish this. All praises are due to Allah.
Sharing this story of mine is not meant to be showy or encouraging you to experience what I have been through. Wallahi, no. I pray that it will not happen to any of you. This is rather to (hopefully) benefit others on how we can overcome the days where we felt at the lowest point in life and a reminder for my future self.
In the past few months, I have been facing challenging moments that I could not forget. It was too unfavorable that I do not wish to experience it again but if it is to drive me closer to the Almighty, may Allah grant me strength, sabr' and solution(s) to overcome it. Aamiin ya Rabb.
My friends, especially A, was so worried that she would ask if I was okay and told me that I looked so drained in every classes. Initially, I was not really aware of it but I get concerned (funnily, -for her) when she asked me almost daily that I had to 'fake' convinced her that I was fine which was bad because sometimes, it is okay to express yourself to someone who you can rely on. But in my case, I am not really the type of person who can easily share my problems with anyone.
I remember that one day where I unconsciously spoke out loud "Stress ku eh!!! (I'm so stressed out!!!)" and my mom -unexpectedly- overheard me and scolded, "Eh jangan cakap cematu bah, beristighfar kau, banyak2 berdoa! (Don't say like that, seek forgiveness from Allah and do lots of prayers!)". However, I took her statement too lightly, not even bothered to grasp her advice profoundly. I took a cold shower and cried so hard than I used to, disguising my tears from the water dripping on the shower (sounded too dramatic but that was what happened and probably, most of us may relate haha).
During that particular moment, I reflected upon myself.
"Why am I like this? I don't want to be in this state anymore".
It was too painful.
I was bottling up my problems all to myself, without telling a single soul. I could not even make myself to explain as I did not even know where to start. 'Gifts' were sent down to me day by day like a machine gun. Whenever I was alone, I would automatically cry as I failed to express to anyone. It was such a terrifying moment where I wish to not reminisce.
I realised that I have been so distant with my Creator, my Mom, my little siblings- easily got upset or annoyed. When I have come to this realization, the following night, my mom asked whether I can accompany her to do a quick errand. I was fully aware that I had to do revisions since my exams were around the corner. Eventually, I agreed to accompany her because I thought, when will I have this chance again to spend time with her. (Although I brought my laptop and revise some in the car when she was too focused driving to talk haha). It was a great decision. The result was- I was a lot more happier!
To conclude, when we keep a good relationship with Allah, in His wills, He will take care of the rest. As I was being distant with my Creator, I thought my life would still continue like how it has always been. But I was wrong, he sent down these 'gifts' solely because He just wants us to be back, to be closer to Him again. After those days, I have developed the need to recite the Quran at least, after the 5 obligatory prayers. Truly, it extinguished my anxiety whenever I felt a sudden distress or anxiousness.
Alhamdulillah, indeed Allah is the As-Sami'. The All-Hearing. He listens. We often forget that,
"Sometimes, all you have to do is Ask. He was just waiting for us to simply ask him, to remove all the sadness in your heart and exchange it with happiness."
To whoever is struggling, you are not alone.
Talk to him. Even with your own language, He understands. He understands even way before you speak to Him.
My friend A, once told me,
"All we have to do is ask, pray, and believe. And Allah listens. The As-Sami' listens and that should be enough as a consolation to us. Remember Rasulullah (ص) said, when we pray to Allah, Allah is shy to turn us away. So trust that our prayers will be returned."May we all be granted the best of health, strength to overcome whatever affairs we faced and consistency in practicing our deen. Aamiin ya Rabb, in shaa Allah.
Have faith,
م
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